Counseling for individuals, relationships, and couples
When I work with individuals and relationships, I think in terms of non-medicalized approaches to somatic, mental, and relational wellness, and am looking for what grounds you and your goals in your highest self, in contrast to behaviorist and earlier Freudian approaches. My background includes having studied several approaches, each with its strengths and weaknesses. I work to flexibly assess and apply the most fitting paradigm to each moment. Here are a few I’m familiar with:
- Peer Counseling, in which we view coaches, counselors, and clients as temporary relationships between peers within a shared community. Thus, we are not viewed as better people and our goals and thoughts are not more important. Rather, we share our thinking with clients for their consideration and also acknowledge that we find ourselves in the client as well as coach/counselor roles.
- NonViolent Communication, in which we orient to the underlying aspirations and needs of each party
- Oppression and Liberation Theory
- Formal Consensus
- Attachment Theory
- Somatics (in which the body is understood to be the core of the self)
Here are some of the things I like to help individuals with:
- Thinking through and playing with possible responses to a situation that feel more choiceful and empowered. For example, I’ve helped people prepare for an anticipated conversation or interaction with a co-worker or family member and have role-played scenarios where a person is experiencing a microaggression
- Sifting through and organizing one’s thoughts and differentiating thought distortions from more accurate or useful thoughts
- Emotional processing (Some people have told me that one of my superpowers is helping people feel safe enough to cry)
- Increasing self-connection, empowerment, and expression
- Self-integration (including noticing dissociation and moving toward being more with one’s self)
Here are some of the things I like to help people in intimate relationships with:
- Increasing attunement to one another
- Improving communication skills, relationship resilience, and honesty
- Shifting longstanding/recurring conflict patterns
- Considering or navigating a complex transition (separation, children, opening the relationship to other romanic partners, etc.)
- Increasing self-connection, empowerment, expression, and reception
- Creating a personal vision for your relationship, free from scripts and externally imposed values
Who I can work with:
- Individuals who want to improve their interpersonal facilitation, communication, relationship, and parenting skills
- People in relationship who share a desire to improve their relationship, negotiate a challenge, or repair
- Children and youth who want to learn to communicate effectively with their parents
Please note that you must read the “About peer counseling page“.
Not within my scope: domestic violence, people who believe themselves to be in an abusive relationship, potential self-harm or suicide, and substance addiction (I may work with people facing these issues who strongly believe I have something useful to offer them, but only if they are also seeing a clinical professional at the same time, and that clinical professional is made aware that you have a peer counselor’s involvement as supplemental support).